NAIVE

Call me naive but who says one can't love at this age?
I've found a girl who sees me just like everyone else,
but she has taken my armour off and found what lies within.

It's my nature trust easily but she has redefined my definition
of trust completely. I look back on days gone and wonder what
this year would have been like without her; nothing comes to mind.

We live too shorter lives not to love, if not to live in service for another
then what is the point of living at all?
I enjoy every moment of her company and our friendships grow day
in day out, so all I wish to do is thank for the ultimate gift of friendship.
Everything else she has given me is icing on the cake.

SLEEPING SICKNESS

The only person I want, I need right now is the only person I can't have.
Hopefully this galleon of sleep will take me to where she is.
Against the eb and flow of the ocean, they say drowning is peaceful.
I'll just follow your star like the lighthouse by the pier.
Sleep is where I'm always with you.

COMING TOGETHER

Well I've finally got a band together and we've recorded one demo track with four more on the way! I've got a course for photography in my sights and all the worry I've been having is dissipating. Like pulling thread and the fabric coming together I think I might make it. I guess being naive is better than nothing at all, because I don't want to fade to black.

The only thing chaining me to the ground is school, but it's a double edged sword as I need it to get into my course... Just gotta ride this tsunami into shore, gotta keep afloat, gotta keep breathing.

When you've got everything to lose

I've finally found a goal to work towards, and I couldn't be happier. I'm hoping to get into a diploma of photoimaging at the Southbank Institute of TAFE. Thankfully the prerequisites are a decent portfolio which I know I can nail. It's two years full time at night so I'm going to try and start it in 2011. School is still fucked up and so hypocritical, all they do is focus their attention on the exterior and the physical instead of the teaching and quality of the teachers. I'm clawing at the door to get out...

On the other hand I'm afraid to be alone, because I'm allowed to think. To be honest I've been taking one of the closest people to me for granted. This society is about security and with security comes comfort; when this happens we start taking things for granted. I hope to never make this mistake again, although I'm the last person I'd trust.

Passenger Seat

'A constant feeling of motion,
Trees move by as fast as life.
Window rolled down,
Wind caressing my hair.
Nothing matters anymore,
I just smile.'

Sun Heights

'In the shadow of the greatest man, I feel naked, the lonely one, untouched by the rising sun.'

For the past few weeks I've just wanted to give up on school and go out and do my own thing but if I was granted that would what I do? I look up to Martin Kirby and I aspire to be like him, he's human he's worldly unlike these so called 'stars' who sing songs about materialistic values and sexism towards women.
Also I see people who are attending school and achieving great things, creating street magazines, getting noticed for their artwork and getting a name for themselves. However I seem to think this is all going to happen over night and I just can't seem to find the motivation to take my interests and talents further. I'm just lazy and lack ambition realistically and it's a disease because like a weed it spreads to other aspects of my life. Where did I go wrong to develop such a hindering habit?
I feel as though nothing explains it better than: 'Two ways to choose, On a razor's edge, Remain behind, Go straight ahead. Room full of people, room for just one, If I can't break out now, the time just won't come'.

BLACK & WHITE

Excited about finally finishing my black and white roll of film for my Minolta XG-1 and so I take it down to Big W to get it developed. The attendant takes my roll and my name explaining it will be ready at 2pm. Returning at 2pm the guy there says was yours the black and white roll? Replying with a yeah he says 'Oh I'm sorry our machines don't do true black and white'. My shoulders slumped and I walked away. RAGE

Uncertainty

'Another restless soul, bound in direction of white lines
Sleepless nights and a sleepless mind.
Dying since the beginning,
Cold streets harbour cold habits.
Uncertainty is what you'll find
Wandering deserts with ghosts.'

DIRECTIONLESS

She probably won't hang around with me too long after school, we'll have each other but then she'll realize I'm going nowhere fast. I'm unmotivated, directionless and lazy, what sort of a person would want to spend their life with that? I can love, be affectionate but I won't be able to provide, hopefully that doesn't matter to her. I like to day dream that the jobs I want, I'll eventually get but like I said it's just a dream. I'd like to prove that I can get there, but everything I've ever picked up I gave it away when it got too hard. Some days of the week I feel like not waking up, some days I couldn't be anymore optimistic but it's probably cause I'm still dreaming.

PROCRASTINATION

Every time I try to start or continue these assignments for school my mind wanders off to thoughts of things I'd rather be doing. My mind is sitting on a razors edge with two ways to turn, do I not try at all and pursue what I'd rather be doing or do I do them to achieve what the school, my parents, or society wants me to do? In a world where were people tell you, you have to do things you don't want to do in order to get higher in this 'pecking order'. But if you look closely it's the same in every culture: kings, queens, mayors, presidents and laborers, farmers, postmen. So there is no escaping 'It', 'The Man', 'Life'.
Even if you could do what you wanted every day, would you still want to do it?